My name is Aisha.
A spiritual humanist’s journey to Islam.
My name is Aisha..I am from
and here is my story.. Melbourne, Australia
I always found myself to be a person who likes to question things.As a little girl,I was always asking questions as children do and as I moved into my teenage years I found myself interested in philosophy nad science.I wanted to understand how things work and to analyze the world we live in.
I started to questioned my previous religion and its practices at the age of 15.I started to explore others faiths and after finishing bachelor of Science,I traveled to
Nepal and India where I wa exposed to a side of humanity u had never faced in ..a humanity that lived amongst nature and away from the materialistic way of life we have in the modern world. Australia
This experience changed me in a way that I felt we are all one people and we are all equal..I felt this sense of equality amongst humankind,from talking to the holy man of
India to the orphan children in ,we are all equal.This is when I started to feel islam but I did not what it was.It was just a feeling. Nepal
When I returned from my traveled,I decided to enrolled into a Social Work course.After I graduated I started working with different communities.
I worked with the people who are on a margins of society,people with no voice to spek out for themselves,people who have mental illnesses,people who are disabled and young people who are at risk of criminal activities.
I felt Islam even more in this work,and I felt it stronger the more I was giving to people and helping them.I felt Islam the most when I am helping people or when people are helping me.
I then started working with Arabic communities in
Melbourne and became friends with many Muslims.However they never spoke to me about Islam.i worked for the community about 4 years and decided to travel to Middle East to learn more.
I spent six months traveling around the Middle East and it was there I started to read into Islam.I spoke with many people about Islam why I was traveling and it was so hard to change from my identity as a spiritual human rights person to a Muslim.This was the hardest thing.But I could get away from it.Islam was drawing me in and in and the pull of Islam was too strong to turn my back on.
I felt so strong and so natural to me and it was I was searching for my whole life.The thing that drew me into Islam was the equality amongst humanity that there is no hierarchy.I also loved that there are no messenger between you and God.It just you and Him.I returned home from my travel to the Middle East and did not know if I would embraced Islam or not.But on August 11,2009 I embraced Islam and it was beautiful.I said Syahadah and lay in my bed with a SMILE on my face.
The conversion has enabled me to feel closed to God.I am seeing the world now in a clearer way and everythings makes sense to me.I feel I can understand any situation without being manipulated or allured into being manipulated.
I feel like a woman who lnows what her role is.I feel intelligent and proud to be a Muslim.I wish I could wear the hijab as I love wearing it,but I am too afraid to wear it in my society..maybe in the future.
It has not all been easy.I have suffered from grief and sadness at the spiritual separation from my family and friends,and I felt social isolation especially around special times like Ramadhan.This was very hard for me.My first Ramadhan was very difficult,but I felt that God has guided me.
My family all reacted in their own unique way.My mum was worries as she had not raised me the right way,and that I would wear a scarf,which would upset her.She was also upset that men can have four wives.
My father was very angry and felt the need to protect himself and his faith,and started talking about the oppression of woman and terrorism.My sister said that as long as it makes me happy,she is okay with it,but she was worried we might grow further apart.
At the moment,I am up and down.Everyday is different.It has been difficult,because I am now feeling like a minority.Althoug the Muslim sisters I am meeting are all so warm and loving,I feel I have been raised in a different way,and so I feel isolated and afraid sometimes.
But I know in my heart that God is with me and whenever I am afraid I remind myself that God led me to Islam and I say Alhamdulillah…
Syukur kita masih dalam lindungan Hidayah dan RahmatNya..
“Islam is the way of life..”~